Adam’s sugar high is thoroughly disconcerting. I now have what I imagine is a fairly accurate idea of what it would be like to be fucked by Barry Scott, of Cillit Bang fame. Luckily the simulation only went so far as dry-humping. Sex is not quite ruined forever.
This psychotropic bastard is lethal. In a wafer cup fringed with shortbread crumbled in chocolate, is chocolate ice-cream mixed with peanut butter, cookie dough, chocolate brownie and a peanut butter cup. The seven stages of consuming it run thus: love and utter devotion (both mine and Adam’s first thought was that we would leave the other for the ice-cream); reluctant irrestibility; bewilderment and mild fear; oncoming meltdown of all internal organs; hallucinations (strong suspicion that the brownies were in fact hash brownies); horniness akin to that after a fifth wank in 24 hours; complete inability to operate body, rendering us somewhere between sloths and inert.
I can finally post the present I made for Adam for Christmas. Yes, that is he and I as owls on the back (because the owls are not what they seem -they’re us).
As you can see from the background I’m in the city least like Twin Peaks and it’s surreal and absurd, especially if I think of it in terms of the fact that I have okcupid to thank for all this.
Adam is a sleeping angel. I am one happy mere mortal.
You have no idea how excited I am to see the best egg there is.
Another website of excellence has my face on and there are all these dreamboats being lovely about it. Internet, you and I, we’ve got a good thing going. I’m sorry for neglecting you.
Make decisions for me please. I’m going to a ridiculous party for the mega-rich (despite, y’know, not being that) and need a suitable dress. Both do the good thing on my back. Which one: blue or red?
minicorrect asked: i WANT to be embarrassed that i confused michael gove and nigel farage buuut yknow, all racist white men look the same to me
Publishing because that last bit.